A couple things.
First, have you seen the commercials for that new “game show” where the person takes a polygraph and then answers the questions in front of his friends and/or family and if he answers wrong he loses the money earned so far? You haven’t? Well, you don’t need to. I just explained it. BUT, the real question is this: the commercial shows a man, the question is “would you cheat on your wife IF you knew you wouldn’t get caught?” BOM BOM BOM… This commercial irritates the piss out of me.
Secondly: If you bought a home during the “boom” in your state, and you are a fucking idiot who got an Adjustable Rate Mortgage (ARM) and “didn’t know” your payment would go up on a certain date, and now you are crying and whining on the news because your rate ADJUSTED - hence the “adjustable rate” part of your mortgage - and you cannot make your payment and now you might get foreclosed, and you cannot sell because the market has tanked, well, fuck you. If you can read enough to buy a house, READ YOUR CONTRACT YOU STUPID TWAT. Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us.
Thirdish: If you are my children and don’t go to bed on time tonight and if I have to tell you One. More. Time. I am going to fantasize about beating you with a stick
(because if I say I will beat you with a stick some mommyblogger with a stick up her ass will send me hate mail about how wrong it is to spank a child and how we should use our words, and frankly, I am not in the mood)
SO what will really happen is this: you will be grounded until you are twenty three and it will be MONTHS before you step foot out of this house except to go to school and Every Free Minute you have will be spent on some lame ass chore like washing the baseboards or re-folding the towels and sheets and washrags in the linen closet. Twice. Do You Understand Me?
Next number: If you are a God of any type of weather or relationship related tragedy, can you either a) flood all roads leading to hell; b) blizzard the entire state so roads in and out are impassable; or c) make them fight and call off the wedding. Please? Oh, and sleepy gods, can you hook me up tonight, absent the freaky dreams? Thanks dude.
What the hell are those people thinking who go on that damn show? I wouldn’t do it for any amount of money.
ReplyDeleteGotta tell ya, I wouldn’t go on there for any amount of money. My husband sure doesn’t want to know what I’m really thinking….
ReplyDeleteNon-spanking parents annoy me. The ones who try to make you feel bad for beating your children, anyway.
Sadly, I doubt I am a god so I don’t think I can help you about the weather or wedding, about sleeping if it’s serious enough you should try pills, just remember NOT to take all the pills in the jar at once. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel compelled to clarify something about the mortgages. ARM’s are not the evil demon. The ARM, usually with a maximum of 2% per year increase after the initial phase (3, 5 or 7 years sometimes), can be a great choice for people who move regularly and don’t expect to be in a home for more than a few years.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that some banks did ARM’s that were NEGATIVE AMORTIZATION ARM’s. Back in the 80’s when I was in banking, “negative amortization” was like a curse word. In a high-interest rate market the banks would offer a “teaser” rate and while you were paying this ridiculously low rate, the amount that you would have owed each month if they calculated it using the correct rate is ADDED TO THE PRINCIPAL OF THE MORTGAGE! So, you aren’t making a dent into principal and you are actually adding to your debt.
I think it’s appalling that banks prey on people who just want the American dream…a home of their own!
My husband calls that Truth show the “Marriage Break-Up Show”. I was annoyed after the first 10 minutes.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I bitched about the ARMs on my blog a few weeks ago. I’ve been bitching about this issue for three years when they first started writing them and economists starting warning all of us they were going to become an issue. Why didn’t anyone do anything then????
I’m so freaking mad about it I could scream for about an hour. Yes, I’m that mad.
Kids really need a good beating once in a while. It builds character. Usually after one good crack across the ass they straighten themselves out. Bring on the hate mail.
We are under a flash flood warning…does that work for you? Do I win a prize?
Di - I have never heard of those type of ARMs. However, in my area, people are on the news constantly whining that they didn’t know it was an adjustable rate or they didn’t know the price would go so high. The one that kills me is the one where they bought at the teaser rate of like 1% for the first year and when the regular payment hit and their payment quadrupled they are shitting their pants. So many people bought houses they could not afford, simply because they could on a teaser rate. The excuses are endless with some of these people.
ReplyDeleteThanks to preditory lending and stupid people, the market here has tanked and I am 100k upside down in my house. Damn good thing I bought because I wanted a house I could live in and raise my kids in, not because I wanted to buy and flip for double the money. There were a lot of houses in my old neighboorhood where investors bought them for under $175 and the height of the bubble they were selling for $300+ and then the market tanked and when we drove through the old hood a few weeks ago, they’re sitting empty, still for sale, for upwards of $250. I don’t know why they don’t just rent them out.
Lisa - holy shit a flash flood warning! That blows. You don’t win becuase I need the roads to Utah closed. Nice try though!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I have to totally disagree with Di. The people who purchased their homes with an ARM fully knew that the monthly payments would increase after 3, 5 or 7 years and in most cases it has shown us that it’s been 3. This is why we are looking at a credit crisis. I can’t read the Wall Street Journal without reading an article, on a daily basis about another company hit by the subprime mortgage crisis.
ReplyDeleteBack to the main issue…the people who took mortgages that were beyond their means. If economists and other financial experts identified this problem 3 years ago why did it continue??? Everyone just ignored the warnings.
UTBM - I watched my house go up in value more than 50% two years ago and now I’m watching it go right back to what it was worth when my husband purchased it in 1991. That’s how bad the market is here.
ReplyDeleteLisa - When we were buying our house, they tried telling me we could get a mortgage for the high 3s and I was all about the big fat F.U. I wanted a payment I could pay if things went south with my job or marriage. And I sure in the hell didn’t want an ARM or balloon payment at the end. I didn’t need the biggest house in the subdivision to make me happy.
ReplyDeleteOf course, now, I wish it was just a little bit bigger. Just a little.
At least your house is still worth something. My model, in my subdivision that is NOT completely built yet, sold for $219 when I bought it, not it is going for $130. Makes me sick.
ReplyDeleteI don’t see how anyone could lose on that show. Even if you are embarrassed about your answer, you might as well be truthful, because the lie detector will show your true colors anyway.
ReplyDeleteConsidering the snowstorm that just blew through here last night and this morning. The weather god just maybe smiling upon you - that is if you have to come to northern utah. BTW totally agree with you on that horrendous show - won’t even watch it. I am intrigued though by the new Amnesia show I have seen ads for. With my memory I would fail miserably.
ReplyDeleteMay the weather god continue to smile upon you - aloth as a Utahn I am mighty tired of shoveling this white stuff.
I don’t see how people could not understand an ARM. We see those same reports and people whining and now they’re being forclosed on and boo-hoo. My idea has always been, buy a house I can afford right now and in 5 years, my payment will be a breeze. Sure, it’s not anything fancy, but I’m not a slave to the payment and I’ll be damned if I lose it!
ReplyDeleteI think that lie detector show is STOOPID! I don’t even have an interest in seeing it.
ReplyDeleteSpanking. That’s what’s wrong with today’s youth. Kids, for at least the past 15 years, haven’t been spanked. So now, they’re self centered little disrespectful shits.
People don’t go about purchasing a home with a practical mindset. That is the problem.
Just cuz you’re “approved” for say, $300,000 doesn’t mean you can “afford” the payments on $300,000. Apparently, people don’t factor in all their other bills along with a house payment. Loan companies don’t factor that in either! Also, people don’t factor in the house insurance or the property taxes.
So, they basically bite off way more than they can chew.
And ARM. um. DUH!! ADJUSTABLE ... is that hard to understand??? Apparently so, to some.
If you’re that stupid, to fall for all of the above, well, then you deserve what you get! Don’t go crying about it, cuz you’ll get NO sympathy from me.
We are currently looking for a house. We’re approved for more than we actually afford [the payments on]. But I too, want to make sure we can afford the payment should work get shitty or, whatever. PRACTICAL. I also look up the homes we’re interested in on the county tax sites online (for those that have them) and find out what the yearly property taxes are so I have an idea of what to expect there.
A house could be perfect for us, in our price range, but if the taxes are high, that throws off the house payment, and therefore puts it out of consideration.
I don’t want to slave away just to own a house. You can’t enjoy owning a home if you have to forever slave away for it. You’ll end up resenting it. And probably end up losing it. What’s the point?