Who knew

I got my first (and probably only) “A” in law school over summer when I wrote my AWR (advanced writing requirement) which was 20 pages of pure, unadulterated hell that included 165 footnotes. That I pounded out in a three week span. 

Last semester I surprised the hell out of myself by getting a “B+” in each of the two classes I took (Bankruptcy and Commercial Law). 

Then today I got an email that I made the Dean’s List. 

Who knew that these three small things would really mean so much to me. 

I didn’t. Until today. 

I almost feel like I know what the hell I’m doing.

Exhausted

I feel it. 

I look it.

I hate it.

Breathe

Sometimes, when finals are over, I just have to remember to breathe.  Take a few seconds, close my eyes, take a deep breath and then slowly exhale.  I get so wound up in studying and then taking the exam and then when it’s all done, and the last exam is over, my brain is still going 100+ miles per hour. 

So breathing is very important and gives me something to focus on. 

My finals ended Monday, 12/9 and I jumped on a plane to Utah on Wednesday, 12/11, and once I got there, I worked and worked and worked and worked some more. I usually like to get to bed around 1a.m. but Thursday I was still sending emails at 3:45 a.m. because I’m just so behind on work - and because I cannot shut off my brain, so rather than lay in bed wide awake, I get up and work.  The staff in Utah think I’m nuts.  Of course, I think I’m nuts too. 

By the time I came home on Friday, I nearly collapsed at the front door.  That night, for the first time in weeks, I slept through the night.  I haven’t slept that hard in a while. Plus it’s better to sleep in my own bed, with my doggies around me and my kids in the next room. 

But now, a week later, my brain hasn’t really slowed down and I still feel like I haven’t had any sleep but at least my body is slowly starting to relax. I can feel my neck muscles and I’m not as nearly achy as I had been. I figure I’ll be completely relaxed by the time Christmas is over.

Just in time to start school again on January 6th.

And then there were two…

 Two days until my Bankruptcy final. 

And after that, there will be another two days until my Commercial Law final.

And after that I AM FREE!  For approximately 26 days. Until I start the Very. Last. Semester. Ever. 

I’m intentionally not thinking about the Bar exam in July.  Or the worry about paying for it.  Or paying for a bar exam review class.  Or anything else of any import until well into the New Year.

In fact, I think it might be time to renew my friendship with Jack Daniels.  And Baileys.  Any my new favorite, Fireball Whiskey.

YIKES

I have finals in 7 days. 

SEVEN DAYS!

On a Saturday.  At 8:30 a.m.  Did I mention on a Saturday. In the MORNING?!

And, I have to be there half hour early because some dildo decided it would be a great idea last semester to have an upperclassman go and take one of his finals.

Say it with me:  IDIOT! 

They were both expelled. But the rest of us suffer now because we have to be to class early to show our ID and get checked in and confirm we are who we purport to be. Fucking (almost) lawyers.

So glad it’s almost over! 

SO GLAD!!!

ThisClose

I’m this close to the end. 

Sometimes it’s hard to believe.

Other times its not hard to believe at all. In fact, those days it’s more like 157 more days of hell until I get my life back.

And so far, the only “A” I have received came by way of that godforsakin fucking paper I had to rush write because the instructor was going on vacation so I needed to turn it in 10 days early. Which ended up being 20 pages single spaced, with 169 footnotes.  My dream to write appeals for indigent clients was crushed after that debacle. 

Five years ago, the fact that I was an “average” student pulling all Bs and Cs would have been a blow to my ego and 100% not acceptable. Law school has taught me the following:

If I set my standards a little lower, I am not nearly as disappointed. 

In other news

On Tuesday, I registered for MY VERY LAST SEMESTER OF LAW SCHOOL

EVER! 

It was bittersweet.  Not gonna lie.

finally

Now that there are only two semesters left, nine short little months (that will fly by but during which I will bitch and moan incessantly) until I graduate, I finally got the coveted A.  Well, an A-, but I’ll take it.

The best thing I ever did was write the paper (the Advanced Writing Requirement) necessary for graduation during a 2 credit independent study course. Otherwise that big fat A would be merely a “Pass” versus Fail, and it would not count toward my GPA, or more importantly, my ego.

In other news, I will have completed the 30 hours of pro bono hours required to graduate by December.  Making the Spring semester a total slack fest. 

Planning. It has its moments.

stuffs

So I start a new semester on the 4th of September. The official start to my last year of law school.  EVER! 

I’m officially a 3L. 

I’m in a bit of loser denial though. 

On one hand, YAY Me!  

On the other hand, two more semesters of law school.  

Then start paying those gawd-awful students loans back. 

Then study like a man woman to pass the bar.  

Then wait until I get the news that YAY! I’m a lawyer.  

Then work work work until I die.  

Or get that one big case and can retire on some beach where I dictate to my minions what to do and when to do it

I have also come to the conclusion that it is a good thing law school only lasts three years. I’m convinced that if it was four years, people would drop like flies.  The burn-out rate would rival that of the alcoholism/drug-abuse rate of current lawyers. 

In other news, well, there is no other news.  Right now anyway.

In other news

 I got the approval both for my AWR (advanced writing requirement) topic and to write it over the summer semester, so I’ll start that next week. 

My professor said my two paragraph proposal “was excellent writing” and had a good chance at being published (because that’s apparently a very big deal in law school). I wanted to say I get published every time I hit submit on this little ol’ blog, but I didn’t.  Because that’s an inside joke. 

And we’ve hired someone to take over my current duties here at the workplace.  I’ll be a little sad when I’m not up in everyone’s shit and know everything about everything.  But not that sad.  So by mid-august, I’ll be in another office down the hall, doing legal work I might actually enjoy.  Because after 20 years of doing the AR/AP, billing, secretarial/paralegal I’m on the corner of don’t give a shit and done. 

And we’re driving to Utah Friday to see the family and get out of the scorching desert for a minute.  I really do love a good road trip.  I just wish it was a one-way drive instead of a round trip.  Slightly more than 740 days to go. Hopefully. If things go right. Crossing my fingers.  Knocking on wood.

The only other thing I currently have to look forward to is July in Vegas with the BFF.  Counting the days/hours/minutes for that one.

And that about covers it for other news.  Until next time…

Yay

Finals for this semester are DONE.

And with that, I completed my second year of law school. 

Two tiny semesters (and one hell of a paper) left and I’ll be DONE.

YAY!

So much truth. I don’t know who wrote it.

The Reading Week Saga -

On the First Day, there was great rejoicing. (We survived another semester!)

On the Second Day, there was panic. For the students did not know what they did not know, but they certainly knew that they did not know enough. (How the hell am I supposed to cram all this in before the exam?!)

On the Third Day, there was determination. (We GOT this.)

On the Fourth Day, there was despair. (No, no… we DON’T got this. We don’t get it at all…)

On the Fifth Day, there was much anger and resentment. (We were NEVER taught that… how is that even testable?! Are these people INSANE?!) ...that resentment carried on to Day Six.

On the Night of the Sixth Day, there was resignation. (Well, shit… if I don’t know it by now… yeah… at least there’s a curve, right?)

On the Seventh Day…

There was much posturing. And then, 15 minutes later, there was a final.

And we do it every semester… I’m pretty sure you can find law students somewhere in the DSM V.

Finals Week(s)

I have finals the next week and two days:

Thursday = Con Law II
Monday = Family Law
Thursday = Business Associations
Monday = Federal Income Tax

I want to throw up. I felt so prepared during the semester and now, I feel like I don’t know shit.  My anxiety level is higher than ever. I’m sure I’ll do fine.  Right now though, I wanna barf.

By the numbers

So I did the math, and could graduate in December (2013).

Then I started to freak the fuck out.  Because HOLY SHIT I COULD GRADUATE IN DECEMBER AND TAKE THE BAR IN FEBRUARY AND BE A REAL LIFE LAWYER BY APRIL!!!

And then my head went berserk and it sounded like this:  HOLY SHIT I CUD GRADUAET IN DACEMBR AND TAEK DA BAR IN FEBRUARY AND B A R3AL LIEF LAWY3R BY APRIL!!1!!1!!!1!!111111! LOL

And then I started to like the idea.  And when I went to bed, I was full of happy thoughts about being done a whole semester early and all I would have to do is take 3 classes over summer (I’m already taking two and writing that big dumb stupid paper) and then I could take 15 credits in the Fall instead of 12 (15 credits is 5 classes and considered full time) and I would be done.  Then I could take the Bar exam in February, get my results (hopefully) buy April, and then be a real life attorney.  Which opens lots of doors to the outside world - like getting a new job; and making more money; and doing criminal work again.

And then when I woke up in the morning, I was full of that weird feeling like a portion of your life is coming to an end and yet, it’s a happy weird feeling because you’ve accomplished something. And then I started to panic again because HOLY FUCKING SHIT I STILL HAVE A SHITTON OF STUFF TO DO before I can graduate!

Like take the MPRE test in August. 
Have a background check completed and fill out my Bar application
Write that big dumb stupid paper

And, the extra class I’d take in summer would be in place of taking the Bar Strategy Course (which allegedly prepares me to take the actual Bar exam) and I don’t want to have to take that with four other classes. I have spaced things out just so. And my last semester is going to be the bar strategy course and a mediation/arbitration course. 

And then, as if that weren’t enough to do, I have to stay alive during all of this.  And that’s when reality hit. I COULD graduate in December, but I’m not going to.  Because I have too much shit to do.  And I’d like to be fit to practice law when I graduate, instead of a burned out basket case with a shitton of student loans to pay off and no job prospects at all because nobody wants to hire the wired for sound slightly crazy chick.