Why can't people just mind their own fucking business? I don't mean strangers either, I mean "family" members who are so hell bent in interfering that they go out of their way to create issues and problems?
My spidey sense was in full mode last week and I couldn't figure out why. Then last night I got the answer.
By way of history, The Man's first fiancee, is a huge thorn in my side.
They met when he was 9 years old, grew up together, dated through high school and became engaged to when he was 17; They serial cheated on each other during the whole time because according to The Man, she'd start a fight on Thursday so she could go out on the weekend with someone new, then they'd get back together on Monday. The Man said he figured out that was her M.O., so he'd do the same thing. When The Man was 20, she'd been gone for three days and called to say she was about 3 hours away and needed a ride because the guy she was with left her stranded on the way back from Nevada. That is when they finally broke up for good. That weekend, The Man was sitting in his bedroom, with a gun in his mouth, when he thankfully realized that he had a lot to offer this world and decided not to pull the trigger. She married the guy who stranded her, The Man married his ex wife, had 22, got divorced, stayed single for a couple years. My understanding is that during those single years, they were each others' booty call on drunk nights. Ultimately, The Man met me and the rest they say is history.
Except history usually stays in the past. Unlike this woman. Who is repeatedly fucking present. I remember once, The Man and I had been together for about eight months. We were living together at the time and we're laying in bed one night and he said to me "I have to tell you something before you hear it from someone else."
Insert increased heartbeat, holding of breathe and stomach sinking feeling here.
He said "XX has been calling me at work. There is nothing to worry about, we've been friends for a long time, but I wanted you to hear it from me. I told her to stop because there is no way we'll ever be together again."
Talk about a buzz kill. I was up half the night wondering and worrying and wanting to maim my future sister in law for telling me at dinner one night "the only person you'll ever have to worry about is XX. She has some strange hold over The Man. He's never completely gotten over her."
Fast forward a few years, I finally meet XX in person. The Man and I are married now and we're in a casino on weekend when we run into her and her husband. I'm fat, pregnant and unable to consume alcohol and The Man (being slightly socially retarded) says "sure, we'll go eat dinner with you." I wanted him dead right then. Dead by my hand and a very blunt object.
Throughout the past 15 years, they've stayed in contact, telling each other about family illnesses, deaths, etc. She's present and I know about the contact for the most part and I rationalize that if he really wanted to be with her, he would be since she's divorced now. Plus, we lived in a wholly different state so I told myself that I didn't have that much to worry about. Except every time he would come to Utah without me because in my mind, she was that quick piece of ass he could call if the mood struck him.
Then we decided to move back to Utah.
My insecurity isn't at all under control, given the past two years' events between us and the sordid history they share. And while I've mentioned in the past that it bothered me that he maintained contact all this time - because they aren't that close of friends and don't need to be - when we decided to move back to Utah, the one and only thing I have ever asked him to do, for me, in our 20 years together, was to please stop having contact with her.
And through a series of text messages, he did. And for the first time in history, he let me see the messages. So I was satisfied and the last phase of healing of my heart and soul and brain began.
Until last night. When he told me that MIL friended XX on The Facebook. Why she did this who fucking knows. MIL has not NOT had contact with XX since The Man broke up with her in 1990!
Apparently he found out on Monday and told MIL then that she is not to give XX any information about him, where he lives or his new Utah phone number. He explained it causes problems between us and that they weren't that close of friends anyway. He told me that MIL mentioned it again last night and is pressing the issue because she just doesn't understand what my problem is.
I find it more than suspicious and quite calculated to be honest. MIL already hates me. She has said so to my children. She knows that we were thisclose to divorce in December and that MIL and her comments and meddling was a big part of that (I'll post that story later).
Why she is so hell bent on interfering in other peoples' lives I don't think I'll ever understand. She is one of those people who wants everyone else to be as miserable as she is. Honestly, I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through her bullshit again.
