One thing people don't talk about enough is that when people divorce, they don't just divorce each other. They divorce the family too. Not always. And not always by choice.
I was married for 23 years. My ex's oldest brother was my friend. We would talk all the time. We spent over 20 years of holidays together. Over 20 years of funerals, family events, and get togethers. He was up to date on current events. He was into politics like me. Unlike the rest of his family. He was a good conversationalist (when he wasn't drunk).
On election night 2016, Daughter#2 and I had been watching in disbelief, nearly in tears as each political outlet called states in favor of the screaming carrot. We were dumbfounded. Couldn't believe what we were seeing. I still cannot wrap my head around it completely.
It was around 1:30 a.m. on election night and my phone rang. Daughter#2 looked at me, said who, the fuck, is calling you at 1:30 in the morning? I said, it's Uncle XXX. I answered and he said "can you believe this shit? I don't believe what I'm seeing." And we shared a few minutes of sadness and disbelief.
I got divorced in October, 2018. I wasn't sure if we could stay friends. I wasn't sure of a lot of things then. Ultimately he came to my house for that first Thanksgiving. He said "my brother is a fucking idiot and that's all I will say on that." When my ex found out he came over, he was pissed. I don't know what happened next, but that was the last holiday we spent together. We see each other at family events like funerals, our children's weddings, etc.
Over the last couple of years, he calls for legal advice and then apologizes for asking. At first there was an awkwardness. I finally told him he could call me whenever, he wasn't a burden, or bothering me, because I still consider him family and I'll do anything to help if I can.
The last time he called, he apologized for only calling when he wants something. I laughed and said "you don't only call when you want something. You use that as a reason to call." He laughed. Said I was probably right.
I was.
Fast forward to yesterday. He called while I was in a meeting and left a voice mail:
Hey, I was just calling to see, to make sure, I know you have, I know you have pets. I was just calling to see if they were OK because apparently there's just millions of immigrants streaming across the border, and they want to turn your pets in to two for a dollar lunches, so I'm just calling, just reassure me. Give me a call when you can.
I cackled. Loudly. He'd watched the debate.
I called him when I got home. We talked about the debate and current political climate for an hour and a half.
Like we'd never stopped talking.
