I’ve been dreaming again. Always about the old boss. Each dream is some variation of the same theme: I am helping boss do something and regretting it the whole time, and then having some epiphany that I DO NOT want to be there, or work for her, or with her, and then I wake up.
My left eye has been twitching for about a month now.
This week I’ve been biting the left inside of my lower lip when I sleep and apparently throughout the day without noticing because its swollen and kind a hurts when I drink anything
I’m down to only five or six hours of sleep at night because I lay down and my brain won’t stop. The old tricks I used to use to calm it down aren’t working (crossword puzzle, guided meditation, reading product manuals)
All signs that my subconscious has something to tell me.
But my executive dysfunction is in charge right now. Making everything bigger than it needs to be. Harder than it should be.
There are no less than five projects I've begun that are in some state of near complete, but not quite finished. That's what executive dysfunction does. It tricks you into thinking you can't complete a simple task because there is nothing simple about it.
I need to dust my dresser.
too many steps
I need to put away laundry.
too many steps
The dishes are done. But the stove and counters need wiped down.
too many steps
I put the Christmas tree up on Monday. I still need to decorate it. The bins of décor are all in the living room. It feels like I've begun an overwhelming project that I can't seem to find the time or energy to tackle.
because too many steps
So in an effort to get out of this funky weirdness that’s weighing me down like a gravity blanket, I’ve decided to find my SAD light and use it when I get home after work for an hour or so. I’ve also decided that I will write here every day for a week.
Seven days. What have I done.
It feels like I just signed up for the old 30 Day Blog Challenge.
Not overwhelming at all.
Nope. It's fine.
everything is fine.
I'm fine.
I'll be fine.
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