Outrageous!

I have been struggling with this post for several days now.  I cannot quite put into words exactly what I am feeling.  I?m borderline pissed off, yet, anger, shock, outrage, and sadness all come to mind.  However, none is exactly what I feel, and mixing them all doesn?t come close to the feelings I have on this subject.  This subject has impassioned me to the point that not only am I going to blog about this, I am writing a few letters and making a few calls and I?ve already pissed off two people. 

Training bras.  Didn?t see this one coming did ya?  Yea me either.

You see, it all started last week when I took 10 school shopping.  She started 5th grade and is wading through those dangerous waters between child and young lady.  During this time, she has convinced herself that she is growing breasts. Now, who am I to argue with that? Even though I can?t see anything, and 7 constantly reminds her that she can?t see anything, yet 10 remains convinced because SHE can see them.  I don?t want her growing up self conscious due to the endless amounts of teasing that I endured growing up.  I want her to be happy and comfortable in her skin.  However, I don?t know how I am going to achieve that with the current marketing going on and the constant ads and television shows that tell us all we can look better if we do this, and we should be thinner and we should wear certain clothes, wear this foundation to cover your blemishes dye your hair a better color, and bla bla bla. 

Remember way back in the day, when your mom would take you to Sears or maybe Grand Central (I?m dating myself here, aren?t I?) and you would scour the rack for a bra that would fit around you, that didn?t leave a baggy cup but still fit in the shoulder area and made you feel all grown up because you are nearly a woman now, you were ready for your very first bra.  Your training bra?  I remember that.  I remember the selection being small.  They all crossed in front of your chest with a big fat X, they had one hook in the back and small sliding adjusters on the straps.  They came in a small box.  They weren?t pretty.  They were white and plain and itchy. Very itchy.

So, two weeks ago, 7 and 10 and I walked to the wall of training bras, where the nice Target lady told us to go.  I almost fell over.  Apparently, some marketing guru, sitting behind a desk, who doesn?t have daughters (and if he does, he shouldn?t), decided that training bras needed to change. They needed more style, flair and colors like hot pink, red, blue, purple and black.  I don?t remember having my first black bra until I was well into my twenties.  Black is what ?other girls? wore, and I was constantly reminded that I was not one of them.

More appalling however than the new color choices, is the new trend that training bras should have padding.  PADDING!  Not just a little padding either, no, this was a solid inch of preformed foam padding. 

My recollection was that training bras were for young girls who didn?t really fit into a traditional bra with a cup size. Training bras fill the gap (or lack thereof) between pre-growth and actual breast development.  They are part of the transition between child and young lady.  Not yet a teenager in some cases, and certainly not yet a woman. 

We stood at the wall of bras, with our mouths hanging wide open.  10 began to glaze over at the plethora of selection.  My head began to swim.  If she wore any of these ?training bras? she would be the only ten year old in 5th grade with a solid A cup.  My mind was reeling and all I could hear were the words ?oh hell no? escaping from my lips. 

I walk a very thin line here.  I want to ease her into the tween years.  Then glide with her into her teenager years, and then walk proudly by her side as she enters into adulthood.  I want to do this the right way and not by scarring her or creating even a modicum of self conscious or doubt in her view of her self.  I want my kids to be kids while they are kids.  I want her to be a child for as long as she wants to be.  I don?t want to push sexuality on to her at such a young age.  Personally, I find padded training bras to be absolutely, unconditionally, and completely inappropriate. 

I know that one could argue that the padding is for the girls to be covered up and discreet as they develop their breasts.  I call bullshit.  Who the hell is looking at my 10 year old?s developing bust?  Point them out because I?m kicking somebody?s ass.  I remember when I was 11 and 12 and my breasts began growing.  I felt so self conscious and I walked around with my arms folded across my chest and I wore two shirts.  Why in the hell would we want to accentuate that feeling by throwing padded bras at our children and teaching them to flaunt what they?ve got. Outrageous! 

I also know that in some cases, a decent argument could be made that buying a padded bra might make a girl feel less insecure about her own body, especially if there are other girls who are developing faster than she is.  Again, I call BS.  Why aren?t parents teaching their children to accept their bodies as they are?  Why is there such a push to be like everybody else? Why can?t we, as a society, teach our children to be diverse and independent and that different is not only okay, but something they should be proud of and strive for. More importantly, what is this teaching our children? Bigger is better?  Mature faster and get started earlier?  Aren?t we already facing an epidemic of babies having babies? 

Gah!!!! I could go on and on and on. 

I just want my daughters to grow up to be intelligent, independent women who can think for themselves and make good choices and follow their dreams and have the world at their feet.  Women who know, that no matter what the world throws at them, they can and will succeed.  I don?t want to raise this: