a meme from Avitable

I totally stole this from Avi because I am really, really busy and yet, I feel like I owe you people something.  Weird.  I know.  Anyway here we go. 

Avi has asked ten question that I am going to answer.

1. If I showed up at your house randomly next week, what would we do together?  Sit around in our underwear and watch old reruns of Star Trek, the New Generation. And you would stare at my boobs. 

2. Rather than saying “I have a blogger friend”, or “I have a friend who’s a blogger”, there should be a word for this that makes it less awkward to say. Would you prefer “blend”, “frogger”, “bluddy”, “blogquaintance”, or “webbud”? Or do you have a better idea?  Why do we need a title?  Why can?t you just be my friend?  There are far too many titles anymore and I?m done with it.  How many people say “how did you meet” when you introduce someone? 

3. If we were hanging out together and you noticed that my balls were hanging out of my shorts, would you tell me or try to maintain eye contact and talk to me?  Once I was done laughing and snorting, I would totally point and laugh some more, and tell you. 

4. If you had no neighbors, would you buy curtains for your windows? Why or why not?  No.  Because honestly, who gives a shit? 

5. Who would you rather fuck: Dan Rather or Betty White?  Why don?t you ask if I want to fuck Janet Reno or Roseann Barr? All of the above would make my vibrator limp.

6. If two girls walk into a bathroom and they both find a newly born baby in the toilet at the same time, should they have to wrestle in oil while nude to claim the baby as theirs, split it in half and share it, or sell it on the black market and divide the proceeds? Divide the proceeds of course. Duh.

7. Do you believe in ghosts, aliens, heaven, or mothers-in-law? Why or why not?  I believe in ghosts because I?ve seen them.  I believe in aliens because I don?t believe that we are the ONLY planet with an intelligent life form.  Sadly, I have a MIL so I am forced to believe in her evilness.  I don’t believe in heaven.  When we’re dead, we’re dead.  Period.

8. What was your most embarrassing moment of your life and do you have pictures or video that you will share with me?  I don?t have any pictures to share.  I have far too many to list.  However, three of my most favorite embarrassing moments can be found at each of these links. 

1.  Embarrassing moment number 1.
2.  Embarrassing moment number 2.
3.  Embarrassing moment number 3.

9. Do you know where I put my sunglasses?  My first answer was “if they were up your ass you’d know” but then you would say “if they were up my ass, I wouldn’t have to ask.” So, instead of that, I will say, yes, they are on the shelf, by the fridge, in the left corner.

10. What aspect of your own blogging do you wish you could improve and why? Would you pay money for lessons taught by me to improve that skill? How much? And what’s your credit card number?   I wish I could make a point quicker and I wish I had some imagination so as to spin a tale out of the words eye, magenta, and vibrating egg.  No, I would not pay to learn to blog better because then it would be more like a job and god knows I have enough work to do as it is!