I bought a new Bronco. A 2 door.
I named it My Midlife Crisis
And now I cannot stop thinking about quitting my job and living in it until the money runs out.
I'm tired.
I'm bored.
I'm restless.
I'm . . . . something.
Coming around
One thing people don't talk about enough is that when people divorce, they don't just divorce each other. They divorce the family too. Not always. And not always by choice.
I was married for 23 years. My ex's oldest brother was my friend. We would talk all the time. We spent over 20 years of holidays together. Over 20 years of funerals, family events, and get togethers. He was up to date on current events. He was into politics like me. Unlike the rest of his family. He was a good conversationalist (when he wasn't drunk).
On election night 2016, Daughter#2 and I had been watching in disbelief, nearly in tears as each political outlet called states in favor of the screaming carrot. We were dumbfounded. Couldn't believe what we were seeing. I still cannot wrap my head around it completely.
It was around 1:30 a.m. on election night and my phone rang. Daughter#2 looked at me, said who, the fuck, is calling you at 1:30 in the morning? I said, it's Uncle XXX. I answered and he said "can you believe this shit? I don't believe what I'm seeing." And we shared a few minutes of sadness and disbelief.
I got divorced in October, 2018. I wasn't sure if we could stay friends. I wasn't sure of a lot of things then. Ultimately he came to my house for that first Thanksgiving. He said "my brother is a fucking idiot and that's all I will say on that." When my ex found out he came over, he was pissed. I don't know what happened next, but that was the last holiday we spent together. We see each other at family events like funerals, our children's weddings, etc.
Over the last couple of years, he calls for legal advice and then apologizes for asking. At first there was an awkwardness. I finally told him he could call me whenever, he wasn't a burden, or bothering me, because I still consider him family and I'll do anything to help if I can.
The last time he called, he apologized for only calling when he wants something. I laughed and said "you don't only call when you want something. You use that as a reason to call." He laughed. Said I was probably right.
I was.
Fast forward to yesterday. He called while I was in a meeting and left a voice mail:
Hey, I was just calling to see, to make sure, I know you have, I know you have pets. I was just calling to see if they were OK because apparently there's just millions of immigrants streaming across the border, and they want to turn your pets in to two for a dollar lunches, so I'm just calling, just reassure me. Give me a call when you can.
I cackled. Loudly. He'd watched the debate.
I called him when I got home. We talked about the debate and current political climate for an hour and a half.
Like we'd never stopped talking.
Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen rando thoughts I've had this week.
1. I over peopled today.
2. How deep is the ocean?
3. Will I ever go to bed before 2a.m. on a regular basis?
4. Why am I a politics junkie?
5. I wish I'd have taken better care of my body and developed better exercise habits in my 20s.
6. Should I purge the garage or go through stuff first?
7. Can I afford to go to Ireland? Do I want to go alone?
8. I think I'm getting crankier with age.
9. I am falling into bad habits again.
10. How have I learned more about ADHD from TikTok than any doctor I've seen.
11. I really need to put away the laundry.
12. Working two jobs again was dumb.
13. I really do not enjoy the summer.
I was cutting an avocado for lunch
and it was a slippery little guy. I had avocado under my finger nails and on my hand, it was messy.
Delicious, but messy.
Anyway, it reminded me of a time back in Arizona when I was getting my nails did, and the nail tech was filing under the nail to clean it out and he said "ohhh, you don't cook."
Uh, what? Yes I do every night.
He said "ohh, your nails are not stained."
I remember going home wondering what kind of weirdo doesn't clean under their nails when they wash their hands. Or do dishes. Or show up to get their nails done with food stained hands. Eww.
and gross.
And that slippery avocado reminded me of that as I was checking under the sink at work looking for something to scrub under my nails to get all the green mush out.
because Eww. and Gross.
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